12 Warning Signs of Lack of Confidence

One of the biggest things that kept me from fully pursuing my dreams for many years was a lack of confidence. 

It’s something we all face at some time in our lives.  The difference between those who are able to achieve, and enjoy, true success and significance and those who struggle with mediocrity and dissatisfaction is what they chose to do about it.

Lack of confidence is not a permanent condition. You can increase yoru confidence levels dramatically with just a few simple steps. 

However, to overcome it, you must be able to recognize it.

Below, you’ll find some common symptoms of low confidence levels. If something sounds familiar, it might not be a bad idea to look into help, such as this class that teaches you how to boost your confidence

**Note: Be honest when looking at this list.  Don’t be ashamed to acknowledge that you can identify with one or all of these symptoms. At one time, I could relate to all of them.  The only way I was able to move forward was to acknowledge and address them.**

12 Warning Signs of a Lack of Confidence

 1.    You can find a needle in a haystack.

If something has a flaw, you’ll find it.  Instead of focusing on the ten things going right, you’ll find the one thing that’s going wrong.

 2.    You take 10 minutes to choose a box a cereal in the grocery store.

Whether it’s something potentially life-changing as determining a career path or as benign as picking a restaurant for lunch, having more than one option tends to paralyze you. 

 3.    The word “no” is not in your vocabulary.

You want others to see you as a nice, kind, and helpful person.  In order to please others you say “yes” even when it inconveniences you greatly.

 4.    You’ve been wearing “this old thing” for years.

It’s difficult for you to accept a compliment or praise.  Instead of saying “thank you” when complimented on a job well done, you’re more likely to say “it was nothing” or “anyone could have done it”. 

 5.    You’re always saying “I’m sorry.”

You’re overly apologetic. Whenever anything happens, the first words out of your mouth are “I’m sorry”—even when you haven’t done anything wrong.

 6.    You spend half of your time at a networking event checking your messages and the other half in the bathroom.

In social situations, you isolate yourself and make excuses not to engage. 

 7.    You think everyone on the road wants to cut you off.

It’s all about you.  The driver who fails to signal before turning, the line at the grocery store, the snappy receptionist at the doctor’s office are all a part of a conspiracy to make your day miserable.

 8. When the going gets tough, you give up.

You want instant gratification.  If the results of your action don’t come quickly, you’re off to the next thing. 

 9. You are afraid to take risks.

To avoid making a mistake or failing at something, you aim low.  You don’t stray too far outside of your comfort zone.

 10. You haven’t done anything for yourself lately.

Constantly trying to please others, you rarely take time for yourself.  Your well-being suffers as your make sure everyone else is taken care of.

 11. You never have enough time to do the things that matter to you.

Things to do for work, your children, your spouse, at church, and everything else comes before your goals and dreams. 

 12. You don’t enjoy your successes.

In a constant pursuit of perfection, you discount your achievements.  The moment you accomplish one goal, you’re off to the next one.

Confidence Boosters

Do you recognize any of those symptoms? No worries.

The great news is that lack of confidence is not a permanent condition.  There are simple ways you can boost your confidence levels.

The following are a few strategies I use to maintain high confidence.

Start Your Day With Positive Expectation

You get what you expect.  If you expect to have a bad day you will.  The reverse is also true.  If you expect to have a good day, you will.  This doesn’t mean that everything will be perfect. However, I have found that when I expect to have good things happen to me during the day, I’m able to put a positive spin on even the “bad” things. I approach the day’s challenges with more confidence becauseI’m anticipating a positive outcome.

End Your Day With Gratitude

One of the best ways I’ve found to ward off feelings of low confidence is to think of all the things for which I have to be grateful.  Every evening, I ask myself “what’s the best thing that happened to me today?”  The focus on gratitude allows me to not only recognize my strengths and abilities, but also the support of those around me.

Do Something You’ve Been Putting Off

I didn’t mention it before, but procrastination is also a telltale sign of lack of confidence.  Take a look at your to-do list.  Is there something that you’ve been putting off because you think it might take too long or it’s too hard to do?  Tackle that item first thing in the morning. Or, better yet—do it now.  Getting that item off of your list will do two things.  First, it will free up much needed space on your list.  And, second, it will give you a boost of momentum and the confidence to tackle other difficult tasks.

Empower yourself with knowledge

Empowering yourself, in general, is one of the best strategies for building confidence. You can do that in many ways, but one of the surest ways to empower yourself is through knowledge.

To boost your confidence, I invite you to join me for a special webinar experience—Confident You.  In this webinar I’ll get you to see how by building your confidence, you’ll gain more time and actually be able to achieve your dreams!  Claim your Instant Access to this power packed training now by visiting, http://BeneciaPonder.com/confidence.

Brought to you by Benecia Ponder, dedicated to helping you to live with an abundance of passion, purpose, power, and prosperity.

Sunday Inspiration – Be strong! Be courageous!

 It breaks my heart to see people living small & lacking confidence.

 There are so many people who have big, beautiful dreams and aspirations, but don’t follow through because they don’t believe that they’re “good/smart/experienced enough to make it happen.”

YOU have so many life experiences & so much IMMENSE POTENTIAL inside of you, and if you could see that, you would have UNSTOPPABLE confidence.

In those times when you when you feel defeated, overwhelmed and insignificant, meditate on this verse:


Be Strong! Be Courageous!

I invite you to join me for a special webianr presentation–Confident You–where I’ll show you how to move past your fears and limiting beliefs and begin to live the live of your dreams.  Gain instant access to this powerful training at http://beneciaponder.com/confidence.

Brought to you by Benecia Ponder, dedicated to helping you live with an abundance of passion. purpose, poer, and prosperity. 

Juggling Expectations: How To Make Decisions Right for You (Without Ruining Your Relationships)

Frequently, I invite the readers of my blog and the listeners of my weekly webinars to submit questions to me. No question is off limits.  I answer questions about leadership, goal setting and achievement, life success, career growth, relationships, business, work/life balance-basically anything related your total life well-being.  Each week I receive lots of questions and I personally answer each one. 

Check out this question from one of my podcast listeners. ..


How can I do what’s right for me without hurting my family?

A few weeks ago, a reader named Rosie wrote saying,

“My family runs a business that has been in our family for generations.  After college, I joined the company just like everyone expected.  But now, I’m miserable.   This is not what I want to do for the rest of my career.  How do I do what I truly want in life without ruining  the relationship with my family.” ~Rosie (Chicago, IL)

Surprisingly, I get this question or some form of it quite often.  Whether it’s choosing a career path, finding a spouse, deciding what city to live in, or a whole host of other important life decisions – we’ve all faced times when we find ourselves  juggling the expectations others. Trying to strike a balance between what we really want and what others want for us.

Can you relate to Rosie?

There are so many voices in your head telling you what you should do that you get paralyzed and making any kind of decision is nearly impossible.

You find yourself  in situations that drain you – emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically – all because you don’t want to be a disappointment or hurt someone’s feelings.

It’s a terrible place to be (yes, I’ve been there, too).  Yet, if you want to have a happy and fulfilled life, sometimes you have to make decisions that others won’t agree with. And, it doesn’t have to be as difficult or as hurtful as you might imagine.  You can make decisions that are right for you and still maintain healthy relationships.

Here’s what I suggested to Rosie:

  1. Get crystal clear about what you do want.   Yes, I know you want out of the family business, but where are you going when you leave?  What does your dream career look like?  Will you have to change career paths totally? Are you going to find another job or start your own business?  Take the time to develop a vivid, detailed image of what you want.
  2. Get clear about the reasons why you want it.  This is perhaps the most important step.  As you make your move to leave your family business, you may encounter some resistance.  Some of it may come from your family.  And, some of it may come from you.  After all, you’re doing something new and that can be scary.  To avoid becoming stuck again, keep reminding yourself of why you’re making the move.
  3. Have an honest conversation with your family. This may be the most frightening part, but completing the first two steps will make the conversation much easier.  The key is to be honest and direct.  Let your family know that you’re not happy.  Tell them what you’d really like to be doing and why.  Let them know that you’ll be making a change to live the life that you’d like to live.  
  4. Make a smooth transition.  As with any career change, a safety net is always a good idea.  If possible, make sure you have a job lined up before you leave your current one.  If you are going into business for yourself, try to save at least 3-6 months of living expenses before you leave.  This does two things -
    • First, it allows time to get your family adjusted and find a replacement.  This is still your family and although you don’t want to work in the business anymore, I’m sure you don’t want to see it suffer.
    • Second, you want to make sure that you can manage without having to come back and ask for your old job in a few months.  (There’s nothing worse than having to face the “I told you so’s”)

Get the confidence to live your life on your terms.

One thing is for sure: making decisions that are right for you can be difficult at times.  But, it’s well worth it.

I invite you to join me for a special webianr presentation–Confident You–where I’ll show you how to move past what others expect for you adn begin to live the live of our dreams.  Gain instant access to this powerful training at http://beneciaponder.com/confidence.

Brought to you by Benecia Ponder, dedicated to helping you live with an abundance of passion. purpose, poer, and prosperity.