Frequently, I invite the readers of my blog and the listeners of my podcast to submit questions to me. No question is off limits. I answer questions about leadership, goal setting and achievement, life success, career growth, relationships, business, work/life balance-basically anything related your total life well-being. Each week I receive lots of questions and I personally answer each one.
Check out this question from one of my podcast listeners. ..
How can I do what’s right for me without hurting my family?
A few weeks ago, a reader named Rosie wrote saying,
“My family runs a business that has been in our family for generations. After college, I joined the company just like everyone expected. But now, I’m miserable. This is not what I want to do for the rest of my career. How do I do what I truly want in life without ruining the relationship with my family.” ~Rosie (Chicago, IL)
Surprisingly, I get this question or some form of it quite often. Whether it’s choosing a career path, finding a spouse, deciding what city to live in, or a whole host of other important life decisions – we’ve all faced times when we find ourselves juggling the expectations others. Trying to strike a balance between what we really want and what others want for us.
Can you relate to Rosie?
There are so many voices in your head telling you what you should do that you get paralyzed and making any kind of decision is nearly impossible.
You find yourself in situations that drain you – emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically – all because you don’t want to be a disappointment or hurt someone’s feelings.
It’s a terrible place to be (yes, I’ve been there, too). Yet, if you want to have a happy and fulfilled life, sometimes you have to make decisions that others won’t agree with. And, it doesn’t have to be as difficult or as hurtful as you might imagine. You can make decisions that are right for you and still maintain healthy relationships.
When you are moving to the next level of your life, there are some relationships you can’t let go of. Instead of letting the relationships suffer, determine to nurture them with open and honest communication.
If you find that your most vital relationships are being strained by your growth, her’s what to do…
- Get crystal clear about what you do want. What are you moving into? What’s yoru goal/dram/vision? Take the time to develop a vivid, detailed image of what you want.
- Get clear about the reasons why you want it. This is perhaps the most important step. As you make your move to the next level of your life, you may encounter some resistance. Some of it may come from your family. And, some of it may come from you. After all, you’re doing something new and that can be scary. To avoid becoming stuck again, keep reminding yourself of why you’re making the move.
- Have an honest conversation with your family. This may be the most frightening part, but completing the first two steps will make the conversation much easier. The key is to be honest and direct. Let your family know that you’re making changes to make you better, not to hurt them. Tell them what you’d really like to be doing and why.
- Don’t leave your loved ones out. Include them in your growth process. Reassure them that you are not leaving them behind. Invite them to join you on the journey.